“I’m not a marriage counselor , ” he says José Antonio Marina nothing more start the interview. Still, the philosopher spends his days this fall in giving advice on relationships, love affairs and breakups . The first question is obvious: what does a recognized expert in the study of intelligence engaged in heartbreaks, fights and problems of coexistence?
Marina always has always striven to transfer the theoretical knowledge and scientific discoveries to the daily lives of people, to improve it . In addition to teaching and publishing popular books , a few years ago he created the first Parent University and now just announced the opening of the Online School for Young .
One thing has led to another. “I’m worried about how humans solve problems. And with the couple we’re not getting it. In the UP we have clearly seen, as well as how it affects us not only individually but also as a society, “he explains.
The philosopher believes that “often are conflicts that can be resolved, but has not been given importance or do not want to see”, but also recognizes “very pessimistic” about the relationships. A situation that has worsened with the economic crisis, because the stress and anxiety joints deteriorate .
Marina believes that oral communication is absolutely critical to keep the course or retake the right track. “The habit of speaking must be established from the outset. By our experience and other programs that take many years to apply the ideal time to establish it is the transition between infatuation and coexistence. That’s when the habit of talking is caught … or not do , “he says.
Something that is not always easy, because “men and women speak and understand it differently. We use language differently. To them they are interested in talking about their relationships and problems; they believe that they will further complicate and prefer to talk about objective questions. difficulties are not disinterest or indifference, but rather educational, “adds Marina.
The expert is clear in the second tip: recover and reclaim tenderness . Even above sex , for that it sounds politically incorrect in times of omnipresent sexuality.
” There are two mythologies that he says have done much damage to relationships: one is the prince and another of unbridled sexuality . They are not real, it does not work that way in real life. Of course, sexuality is a very important source of reciprocal rewards and must be cared for , but there is no such esp eci and obsession, that frenzy that we want to move “.
The consequences of this message, which he defined rather as “pressure” are not trivial. “If someone takes it as a model it will feel frustrated, disappointed and embarrassed ” he says, because ” it is very difficult” to live in a stable and lasting relationship marked by such intense sexuality.
Other ingredients for a happy couple (see video), Marina adds the need to be agrad eci two alternating care, deep bonding with the other and the enjoyment set everyday and activities have forged this Union .
All questions to learn ( “very practical and humorous way , ” he says), for four months, 400 students who sign up for its School of couples , both to prevent problems and to solve them . Learning that will cost only 45 euros, as it is part of the work nonprofit Educational Foundation Parent University presiding Marina.
Interview: Laura Pintos
Video: Miguel Castillón